All Things New

Hello again, blogger world. As you probably have guessed by now, I completely failed at keeping up the "Non-fiction Nanny Diaries." I have so many funny, sweet stories. Maybe I'll write them all down one day. For now, I will just have to condense it into one sentence: the year I spent as a nanny was a wonderful, entertaining, exhausting, beautiful year. Ask me about it some time! Oh, the times they are a'changin! Life has changed completely, in so many ways, for my entire family. Both of my sisters are now engaged, so wedding fever has taken over the Brooks clan. Jacob is off being a freshman at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, playing soccer (and starting as a freshman!!) and being awesome. My Dad has about two more semesters before he graduates with his masters and can start teaching. I am so proud of him! He takes three night classes and works full-time but still manages to make all A's. He's going to make a fabulous teacher one day soon! My mom is a nanny for a second year, still looking after Braden, one of the cutest little boys in the world. And as for me? I bid my nanny days a fond farewell to move to Tuscaloosa and begin graduate school at the University of Alabama. I got accepted and awarded a Teaching Assistantship back in February in the MA-TESOL program (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. THAT was definitely God's doing, as my GRE score was pulled way down (thank you, evil math section) and I barely sent everything in by the deadline. But it happened, and I'm here. Betsy and I have a wonderful apartment that already feels like home. It's definitely been an adjustment! I moved here in early August, about a week before I was scheduled to step foot on campus as a grad student for the first time to attend a week of writing center orientation. Words cannot describe how nervous I was that day. And, of course, I had to get my first cold sore. EVER. a few days before orientation. Oh, but I didn't just get one. I got TWO!!! I barely looked at anyone the first day, afraid to see their eyes drawn to my poor lip. I imagined the thoughts of each person--they were not pretty. It was like I had a bright orange fungus growing on my face. Dramatic, I know. I laugh at myself now. Cold sores, you are evil. But you are common. You will NEVER DEFEAT ME!!!! Moving on. Long story short, I've been in school for a little over a month now, and I love it. I've never had so much work in my academic life, but I'm surviving! I get to co-teach two classes, which is the most rewarding part of the program. I have Chinese and Korean students (and one Canadian!), and they are all wonderful. I've made some good friends, and the Lord led me to a great church and bible study. I'm growing and learning so much daily, and I couldn't be more thankful. End of long update. From now on I will be posting sporadic, short little gems. I have to get a break from academic writing somehow! Brittany, out. **For some reason this only saves as a large, obnoxious block of text. I am perturbed. Brittany, out again.

The "How-To" Post

Good evening, blogger world! I hope that, like myself, you've all had a wonderful week. I had three days off this week, no nanny duties necessary. And yet, I still couldn't help imagining what Miss Cadance was eating (or throwing on the floor) for lunch. The never-ending "la la la la's" of Elmo's Song played on repeat in my head. I could have sworn that I heard Camden doing his whine/cry that means "hey, I'm not really upset! I just want to be picked up right now and I know I have you wrapped around my little finger!" (I guess it was in my head. Scary.) I suppose, come three months from now, I might possibly be graduated to full-on hallucinations of my kiddos on my off days. I guess that's the price nannies pay. Anyways, without further ado, I give you: The How-To Post. Enjoy.

*How to Freak-Out a 21 month old little girl

It starts with a cockroach. It ends with a cookie.
When I sent little Cadance into her playroom to wait for lunch, she promptly came back out saying, "Gross, BUNTEE!" (yes, she pronounces Brittany as "Buntee." I think it kind of fits.) I have learned, in these 6 weeks, what two things Cadance reserves for the adjective "gross": little pieces of dried, rotting food she finds in the corners of the kitchen and/or stuck to the carpet, or bugs. I prayed for food...but I got a cockroach. This giant bug was lying in the corner right up by the wall. It looked fat. And dead.
"You think its dead?" I asked Cadance.
"Yesh."
I grabbed a little piece of toilet paper to pick it up. First, I blew on it a little just to be certain. That thing did not stir. I thought I was in the clear, until...
IT MOVED! The nasty beast JUMPED up from that toilet paper, scuttling towards my hand and moving its disgusting antenna-things.
How to Freak-Out a 21 month old little girl: Scream extremely loudly and jump around like an idiot, letting the cockroach escape and scuttle down the wall. Chase after it maniacally, shrieking every few seconds until you finally squish it so hard that the guts come shooting out the back. (Disgusting, I know.)
A cookie might be necessary to calm the poor girl down.
Maybe two.

* For the Kiddos: How To Freak-Out the Nanny

It starts with a sneeze. It ends with a near-heart attack.
One day Cadance had a little bit of a runny nose. It seemed normal enough to me. We had a lovely morning of Elmo dance parties, alphabet learning, and a healthy dosage of "No M'ams!!" from Cadance. As we sat down to Cadance's lunch of sliced turkey (which she refuses to eat on a sandwich), mandarin oranges, and a few left-over, "gross" pieces of corn she managed to extract from somewhere in the bowels of that carpet and consume before I could even work out what happened, suddenly she started sneezing. And I don't mean teeny-tiny little girl sneezes. No, these were massive, drawn-out SNEEZES. And they didn't stop. As sneeze after sneeze came rolling out, I began to notice something. Disgusting black goop was beginning to make its way out of Cadance's left nostril. Um...I might not be a pediatrician, but I know that is NOT right.
She kept sneezing. It kept coming. Cue the beginning of Brittany's panic attack. Just as I was frantically wondering whether to call her parents, the doctor or even 911, the massive thing flew into the tissue and she was fine! She giggled and trotted off to dig my sunglasses out of my bag and try, unsuccessfully, to put them on her face.
Cue Brittany's confusion. After a good hour free of any nose-runnage whatsoever, I decided it was safe for her to take a nap.
4 HOUR NAP. Yes, my friends, I am serious. That girl can do some hardcore sleeping.
All was well with the world until around 4:30, when she woke up and made me dance to the Elmo song for the hundredth time. Half-way through a spin, it started again.
The sneezes.
The black stuff.
Brittany's near heart attack.
How to Freak Out your Nanny:
Stick some black fuzzy stuff from the carpet FAR up your nose in the morning right before your nanny arrives. Spend the whole day sneezing it out, convincing your nanny that you have some sort of horrible disease.
Your mother, after examining the tissue, will have to promise your nanny that "Oh, everything is fine! She's done this twice before."
A cookie might be necessary when the nanny returns home.
Heck, maybe half a bag.

* How to Convince an almost 2 year old to take a nap when she REALLY is not having it:
1. Your mommy will be so proud!
2. You get to wake up and watch Elmo some more!
3. You can have more juice when you wake up!
4. If you sleep, your mommy will be here when you wake up!
5. You can play with Braden (little 17 month boy who lives behind them) when you wake up!
6. If you don't sleep, you will feel SO tired.
7. You can have a cookie when you wake up.

How they work:
1. Never.
2. Occasionally.
3. Never.
4. Might just result in chanting of "Mommy comin, Mommy comin."
5. Pretty successful, but only if the play-date will actually happen. Otherwise you are lying. Which is sad.
6. Fat chance.
7. ALWAYS. But use sparingly.

Well, there you have it. I'm off to dream-land to prepare for another day in the life of a nanny. Tomorrow we get left-over Chicken Fettuccine for lunch. Oh yes.
Until the next entry in the Non-Fiction Nanny Diaries, I bid you all adieu.
Stay tuned.

The Non-Fiction Nanny Diaries

I'm back! I know it has been a terribly long time...what can I say, I sort of fail at blogging. However, I am at home again now, so I do think I will have to start blogging more often in order to maintain sanity.
Why am I home, you may ask?
I shall answer. I GRADUATED COLLEGE.
WHAT?!
Seriously. After four long years at MC, I donned that hideous bag of a black robe, that lovely square hat, and made my way to the stage to receive my diploma. I could go out and conquer the world! I could do ANYTHING!
The only question was...what did I WANT to do? By that time, all of the deadlines for grad school had passed. My mind was already on overdrive from the insane level of school work I had to complete to graduate (the numerous Monsters I coupled with coffee probably didn't do too much to improve my brain, either).
Needless to say, I decided that taking a year off would be the best choice. After a busy summer of working at Art Camp again (I will not be watching the movie Alice In Wonderland for a LONG time to come), traveling back and forth for weddings, bachelorette parties, and other shindigs, I ended up back at home.
Home, home, home. I wasn't sure I could handle living at home after being used to the freedom of college, but after being here a few weeks, I think it will be nice. My poor head needed a break; and frankly, I needed some direction. I let myself get a little lost my last semester of college. I think this year will be so beneficial for me. I can get back on track, relax a little, and have time to find out where God will lead me next in this adventure called life!
You may be wondering about the title of this here blog post. Well, did you think I'd be sitting at home all day? No, thanks, I don't want to turn into that creeper who stays at home in their parents' basement in pajamas eating cereal all day watching soap operas. (I'm sorry if this is you, reader...I'm sure you'll get a job soon.)
Indeed, I got a nanny job for the year! It's actually perfect. My mom and I can carpool (she nannies in the same neighborhood, right behind me actually), and its something easy to do that pays well, enabling me to focus on researching/visiting grad schools and all that fun stuff.
And so. A new idea for my blog was born.
This year I will treat all of you to the Non-Fiction Nanny Diaries. (Yes, I did read the fictional book, found it hilarious.) My updates will be full of my escapades as a nanny. (Oh you KNOW you're excited.) I started 2 weeks ago, and it has already been a trip. My charges are 20 month old Cadence and her 3 month old brother, Camden. Cadence is extremely smart for her age. She knows her colors, part of the alphabet, and how to scream "NO M'AM!" in my face when I try to get her to take a nap. Camden is a little chunky darling who burps like a full grown man after chugging his bottles and likes to surprise me with explosive (and I do mean this literally) dirty diapers.
I'm sure our adventures will be highly entertaining for you all.
Stay tuned.

"You're Holding Your Chopsticks All Wrong"

I'm back! I realize it has, again, been a ridiculous amount of time since my last update. I apologize to those of you who were languishing in torment, waiting for my next update and longing to know what's been happening in my life lately. You can take your dark hoodies off and venture into the daylight now.
Alright. Life has been crazy this year so far, and it has only been a month! I have been wading through my FINAL semester of college for two weeks now, and with each passing day life feels more surreal. Time really is a beast...it seems like just yesterday I was a naive little freshman.
Ahh, the joys of not having to make massive, gigantor life decisions! For a soon to be graduating college senior, there is one question that can either strike frenzied excitement/boasting or utter fear and stuttering. "What are you doing after graduation?"
DUN DUN DUN!!! My favorites are the liars. They say, "Oh, grad school, you know..." casting their eyes around in feebly disguised panic. These people are really saying, "I have NO IDEA!!"
Don't worry, I'm not judging; I completely understand this. I am so sick of people saying, "Oh, you're an English major?" *confused look* "What are you going to do with that?" I sometimes automatically answer with "Grad School."
What is my true answer to this question, you may wonder?
Honestly: I'm not entirely sure. Yes, I have applied to Graduate School at the University of Alabama, but will I end up there? Perhaps, if they like my portfolio and can overlook my tendency to struggle with deadlines...
Do I want to end up there? Now that is the true question. For the past year, I've been feeling a new passion develop inside my soul. Don't get me wrong--I'll always have a passion for writing; it's a part of me.
But I've been tutoring in the writing center for two years, and I finnd myself drawn to the ESL students. I absolutely adore them all; I love helping them understand and grow in English. I love cultivating friendships with international students, learning about their cultures. People who view them as just "outsiders," "foreigners," etc. are missing out. You can meet some beautiful people if you let go of your prejudices and stereotypes.
Back to the point--this little seed in my soul of interest for ESL has grown into a full blown, insatiable passion. I am getting my ESL certification this semester, and I feel a tugging at my soul to USE it.
And one culture in particular has begun to capture my heart; you may be surprised at which one.
I have become good friends with two wonderful girls from South Korea who are studying here for a year. I've been learning so much about their culture through food, television, language, and so forth.
Today I went to their Korean church. One word: Amazing. The people were wonderful and friendly; the food was delicious; the language was beautiful. And the love for God in that place was so REAL. Standing in that sanctuary, my English words blending with their Korean voices in genuine worship, I felt goosebumps.
This is how life should be, and this is how heaven will be--People of all tongues, tribes, and nations praising God together in unity.

So. Though I am by NO means a South Korean expert (I apparently use chopsticks in a form that is all my own and never seen before by the world...), I am learning so much. I am feeling something brewing inside, and it both excites and scares me.
Will I end up in South Korea teaching English?
There is a good chance that God could be calling me there.
However, Grad School is still hovering, too.

Instead of stressing over these options and my future, I've put in squarely in God's hands. Is it difficult? Of course it is. But I know my God's going to prepare a place for me that's exactly where I'm meant to be, and He'll guide me right to it.
Whether I end up at U of A first, or whether I start an adventure in South Korea or even another country, bad chopstick-form and all, I know God's going to be there before me, and He'll be there with me.

So if you need me, you'll find me here at MC, living every second of this closing phase of my life to the fullest.
Or I could be in my dorm room, practicing picking up pieces of popcorn with chopsticks and reciting Korean words to the air.

The Evil Laptop

Let me tell you a story about a laptop.

For years it plagued it's owner, constantly becoming ridiculously slow or not connecting to the internet for no good reason.
The owner, an average, hard working college student, was patient with it, coddling it even. She found it a new cord. She gave it a brand new, beautiful case. She even got a computer-savvy friend to clear off all the junk that had been cluttering it up.

What did she get in return?
Bill the Laptop decides to morph into an evil, psychotic demon piece of technology. First, it greets her one morning with large green lines across the screen. "Good morning, Brittany! I hate you!" he said.
Then it lulled her into a false sense of security by allowing the computer savvy friend to fix it. Bill and his owner spent two weeks in a loving, perfectly stress-free relationship.
Then Bill said, "Just kidding, sucker! Experience my wrath!"
Evil Bill then turned off the wireless connection--and it never came back. Brittany pleaded and bargained. Bill did not care.
Then, as if that was not enough, Bill's evil master plan reached the grand finale. First, Bill decided to cover himself in bright blue and black lines. Then he shut off completely. The tired owner tried to turn him back on. The lights came on. "Yes, you are working!" The owner said gleefully.
"No. I am not." Bill's lights shut off again. Then on again. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again.
The endless cycle began to drive Brittany insane, so she and computer savvy friend took the computer to computer services. She left the psychopath there and bid it good riddance, full of hope for it's fixing.
Then Bill revealed his ultimate triumph. The computer service guy called. "We can't do anything with it. He won't even turn on, just the lights turn on and off."
And now his owner is left to raise her fists to the sky and shout in anguish, "NOOOOO!!"

I hate technology.
The end.

Senior Year Shenanigans

SENIOR. YEAR. OF. COLLEGE.

Wait, let me repeat that. SENIOR YEAR.
How/when did this happen?
Do I really only have one year left here?
I feel a bit strange. I have no idea where I'll be this time next year, and that is a terrifying feeling. There are several possibilites, of course, if I could bring myself to start the long, not-so-enjoyable process of applying. For now, though, I am content to squeeze out as many carefree days as possible before I start banging my head against the wall in frustration.

Before I let myself slip into some borderline-emo post about the changes of life (because trust me, it would be waaaay too long and you'd hate it), I'll instead tell you about the strange little adventures my roommate and I have taken part it in so far this semester.

Adventure One: Operation Chili Decimation
We noticed our fridge beginning to smell. The smell began to cling to other things in there, such as my yogurt...and chili smelling yogurt just doesn't cut it. Operation "Get Rid of Old Chili Somehow" needed to be done. However, some poor girls were making cookies in the only kitchen on the floor. Not wanting to pollute their pleasant afternoon with my sickening chili clumps, we had to find an alternative means of dumping the mess. (There is no garbage disposal, by the way.)
Idea 1: Feed it to some of the twenty-something cats that seem to lurk all over campus. Problem: We would be cat killers.
Idea 2: Dump it straight out of the containers into the garbage can in the hall. Problem: Overflowing garbage can. Chili would fall on floor and remain rotting there until Monday, clean day.
Idea 3: Put the containers in some random part of the hallway with a sign on the wall above saying "Free Food." (Just kidding--plus my tupperware would be gone)
I found an empty garbage bag randomly in the closet. Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Rachel and I constructed nose masks with tissues and hair clips. Masks in place, we dumped the chili into the garbage bag. Attempt one: Rachel dropped the bag. I screamed. Beans rolled around on the bathroom floor. Second attempt: I used a fork to scrape it out. Success.
Then we snuck into the hall wearing our masks. We tried to stuff the bag in the can. Attempt 1: Some nasty to-go box full of unidentifiable green gunk fell to the floor. We gave up.
So we were left standing in the hallway, ridiculous clip-tissue masks making our noses run, holding a giant, leaky bag of red chili.
What did we do?
Well, what anyone would. We ran outside, down the cockroach infested stairs, and to the first floor. The hall was empty and dim. The only sound was that of some girl's heels clicking time on the linoleum. We placed the bag on top of their pile of garbage in their can. It looked like a crown--a chunky, smelly crown. Then we ran and laughed all the way back to our room. I sort of felt guilty. Almost.

Adventure 2: Operation Walk to Kroger
Sunday afternoon rolled around, and we were a bit bored and hungry. We knew we shouldn't spend money on food...but our stomachs wouldn't allow us to feed it canned dorm food or nasty cafeteria creations. I had the brilliant idea to walk to Kroger to buy Sushi, that way we'd be getting exercise (which we need) and food at the same time. We set off, only to realize that it was dark and cloudy and could rain any moment. We, being the intelligent people we are, didn't think to bring an umbrella. We now knew we had an epic journey ahead: conquering the rain to receive glory and sustenance. We traversed the dangerous intersection successfully. (Even though I did have to push the walk button twice.) We hurried down the sidewalk, almost to Kroger. Only one obstacle stood in our way: a rather steep little hill. We stood for a moment to contemplate. Dare we try?
We knew the time for heroics was now. We climbed the steep incline. My shoe came off, almost tripping me. I stumbled around to get it back on. I'm sure witnesses laughted. But we made it.
Then we spent twenty dollars each on tons of sushi as a reward. We made it all the way back to the dorm without a)rain b)cockroaches attacking us (don't laugh, it has happened to us before) and c)our sushi getting warm.
We completed the journey. We felt complete and invincible. (That is, we felt that way for about five minutes. Then we ate too much sushi and felt rather large and ill.)

Though we have had many adventures, I will only share those two for now.
I've realized that I will miss little random things like that the most when undergrad is over. Who knew that rotten chili and a sushi craving would lead to unforgettable adventures?
Senior year has definitely began with a bang. I've met new people, played VOLLEYBALL (yes, seriously), consumed massive amounts of IHOP, and laughed so hard I've cried several times already.
I'd say that's a great start.

"Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak"

* I saw the Harry Potter 7 trailer yesterday. It was awesome. Although, I am really worried they might botch the final scene. And if they do, I will be seriously ticked off.

* Eclipse came out today. I don't know if I want to try and stomach the horridness that is Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson's acting. Or their horribly awkward kissing scenes. But for the sake of Jacob Black, I know I will.

* I have realized that people really suck sometimes. I guess I was a little naive before today. See, I thought a certain car wreck I had was done with, since it happened 7 months ago. Now someone who seemed nice is lying about it all, trying to get more money. It just blew my mind when I heard. I don't understand how people can be that way.

* Writing is perfect therapy. I've been working on a book, just sort of for fun right now. I had an idea and I'm running with it. Maybe one day I will publish it, who knows.

* Indian Spiced Chai tea, combined with the writing, is even better.

* Harry Potter always has the ability to cheer me up. (I know I've said this about ten times, but it is still true.)

* Electric President is an awesome new band I've recently discovered, courtesy of Pandora. Music is wonderfully therapeutic too.

* When I'm upset, I go on a hardcore cleaning spree. I think I finished my room in about twenty minutes today.

* Sometimes random words just float into my head from nowhere. Today were banshee, flipper, and mud. (Feel free to think I'm crazy, but you know it happens to you too sometimes. Right...?)

*God is awesome.

End.