The Evil Laptop

Let me tell you a story about a laptop.

For years it plagued it's owner, constantly becoming ridiculously slow or not connecting to the internet for no good reason.
The owner, an average, hard working college student, was patient with it, coddling it even. She found it a new cord. She gave it a brand new, beautiful case. She even got a computer-savvy friend to clear off all the junk that had been cluttering it up.

What did she get in return?
Bill the Laptop decides to morph into an evil, psychotic demon piece of technology. First, it greets her one morning with large green lines across the screen. "Good morning, Brittany! I hate you!" he said.
Then it lulled her into a false sense of security by allowing the computer savvy friend to fix it. Bill and his owner spent two weeks in a loving, perfectly stress-free relationship.
Then Bill said, "Just kidding, sucker! Experience my wrath!"
Evil Bill then turned off the wireless connection--and it never came back. Brittany pleaded and bargained. Bill did not care.
Then, as if that was not enough, Bill's evil master plan reached the grand finale. First, Bill decided to cover himself in bright blue and black lines. Then he shut off completely. The tired owner tried to turn him back on. The lights came on. "Yes, you are working!" The owner said gleefully.
"No. I am not." Bill's lights shut off again. Then on again. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again. Then on again. Then off again.
The endless cycle began to drive Brittany insane, so she and computer savvy friend took the computer to computer services. She left the psychopath there and bid it good riddance, full of hope for it's fixing.
Then Bill revealed his ultimate triumph. The computer service guy called. "We can't do anything with it. He won't even turn on, just the lights turn on and off."
And now his owner is left to raise her fists to the sky and shout in anguish, "NOOOOO!!"

I hate technology.
The end.